Posts by individuals wife

9

when will they announce my DA?

by Sarah in

jw
friends

how quickly do they announce a da?

it was last friday when my husband and i da'd ourselves.

this was just a verbal statement, i am not wasting a piece of paper and a stamp, just to tell them the same thing all over again.

individuals wife

Soylibre - just as I'd suspected.... thank you for your comment. In some ways I am glad that they are out of my life forever and I will never have to justify myself to the elders again. But also I am a little disappointed that I won't have the opportunity to collar them over certain issues that I have come across since I left.

It would have been interesting to see their approach to me and also my husband who is not df'd or da'd, just drifted away. Surely they will not allow him to drift forever..... Someday I expect there will be a confrontation, I await it with excited anticipation.

18

JW fined for going door-to-door

by Defender in

jw
friends

has anyone seen this?.

http://www.poconorecord.com/2001/local/fxp40917.htm

individuals wife

Its about time something like this happened, a few times on the field service I was 'accidently' sent down the drives of Do Not Calls only to be given a right telling off and dressing down. I felt really bad for bothering people who had already made their feelings known and had requested that we stay away.

If more people were to follow the example of this woman it could only be a good thing. It used to annoy me that the elders would periodically call on Do Not Calls just to see if they had experienced a change in 'heart condition'. Why can't they accept the fact that some people just aren't interested and never will be?

Maybe hurting them in their pocket like this will send out a clear message saying 'leave us alone'. Just a shame the damages awarded weren't a larger amount. Maybe next time...

21

Money $?$?$?

by tattoogrl333 in

jw
friends

just curious they seem to have an endless supply of literature but they never ask me to pay them for the books.

and i never see a collection basket being passed around.

so how do they get their money???.

individuals wife

belbab - You will find the brochure in full on the Watchtower Observer site ( http://watchtower.observer.org/ ). Look in the section called jw and money, go to the second page and you will find what you are looking for there - the item is called The Watchtower as Beggars. Enjoy!!

tattoo - I think you would find the other articles in the jw and money section in the above mentioned website interesting.... take a look and I think your questions about money will be answered!

21

Money $?$?$?

by tattoogrl333 in

jw
friends

just curious they seem to have an endless supply of literature but they never ask me to pay them for the books.

and i never see a collection basket being passed around.

so how do they get their money???.

individuals wife

Where dont the JWs get money from?? We used to pay for literature when we collected it from the desk, we would accept donations for it out in the field service and put that in the donation box too. Double the money for one piece of literature. When we picked up any books the book servant would gesture at the price list just to remind us of the expense incurred by the congregation.

We would have constant reminders at the meetings and conventions and assemblies of the need to be generous, things need to be paid for.

They always say that there is no collection but who cannot miss the donation boxes that are placed in prominent places just waiting for your generous contributions, not just one box either, one for the world wide work, one for the kingdom hall fund, one for the new assembly hall fund, one for the disaster fund, one for the upcoming COs visit (that one used to really irk me....).

And now they have their 32 page brochure on how to donate, not content with their reminders from the platform and the regular items in the magazines on 'Jehovah Loves a Cheerful Giver', now they have a whole piece of literature devoted to the subject. Retirement funds, loans, gifts, plans, donations of shares and stocks, stamp collections, jewellery, property, they want it all. And as I remember reading once in the WT 'not giving of yourself fully in a financial way is tantamount to robbing God'. Talk about emotional blackmail.

8

pick your religion here!

by reagan_oconnor in

jw
friends

i saw this, and it made me think of drahcir yarrum's post about ex-jws and morality.

http://www.selectsmart.com.

choose your religion based on personal beliefs.

individuals wife

Good grief..... apparently I am supposed to be an Orthodox Quaker....
... so thats where I've been going wrong all these years......!!!

(... even more interesting is the fact that JW appeared at the bottom of my list... obviously telling me something there!)

9

when will they announce my DA?

by Sarah in

jw
friends

how quickly do they announce a da?

it was last friday when my husband and i da'd ourselves.

this was just a verbal statement, i am not wasting a piece of paper and a stamp, just to tell them the same thing all over again.

individuals wife

To Sarah and Husband

I think they announce a DA'ing as soon as possible so that the warning goes out to the congregation that you are no longer 'one of them' and are to be shunned.

Within one day of my DA letter being received by the elders the shunning started for me, this was even before a congregation meeting had taken place. Undoubtedly there had been some frantic telephoning going on - I'm just glad that I had taken the opportunity to talk to a few JW friends first before they had got warned away, gave me a chance to put my side of the story across. Not that it made an ounce of difference.

By the way, congratulations on your new freedom!
********************************************************************

On a slightly different note - a question to anyone who can answer -

When you are da'd how often are the elders supposed to call on you to check on you? With df'd ones it is 12 months - what about us da'd ones, do they have a system in place for checking up on our
'spiritual state'?

22

the internet, does it really matter??

by astra in

jw
friends

hi, i have been following some of the discussions about the internet and jw.

some people think that it seems to make a big difference, that it will seriously reduce wts ranks because people get access to all sorts of information and because they can get in contact with people who maybe have the same doubts and thoughts as themselves.. but how big a difference do you think that the net is making?

how many people do you think have withdrawns from jw because of infomation or contact achieved over the net?.

individuals wife

Astra - first of all - welcome to the board, good to have you here!

As for the internet, I think as time goes by it will become more and more evident that the information to be found here will cause more and more JWs to examine their faith, if they dare look...

Personally I did not really look to the internet for information on the society until I had doubts anyway. I used it to research things that I already felt were not quite correct, once you start looking it is startling what you can find.

It is interesting to note the decline in publisher/baptism figures for the past year, the figures certainly seem to suggest that in countries where internet access is more readily available there is a downturn. It will be interesting to follow the figures in years to come.

A loyal JW would be bound to say that the internet has not made a difference, yet the society is clearly worried - this is apparent by the warnings in the magazines and from the platform. I would imagine that the disassociation letters that are being received lately state a lot of facts collated from the internet, the society must be very aware of where the information is coming from.

The internet may not have caused me to leave the organisation but the information that I have found here since will ensure that I never return.

Welcome once again!

10

Shepherding Calls and Depression

by KSJordan in

when we lived in west helena, arkansas, the elders would only make their "shepherding calls" when the circuit overseer was down to visit.

they would give my mom pat answers like "the new sytem will be here soon" and "you don't know what problems really are, my pipes busted last week", etc.

one elder really did want to help us it seemed, but he was prevented by the other elders who told him "we knoe them better than you do, we will handle it".

individuals wife

I can relate to the problems associated with the elders calling, when they have no real help or advice to offer to those who are depressed and need help.

In total agreement with you there, had a sheperding call once when we were a bit irregular at the meetings - the elder came with an agenda all planned out, he had his article all ready to read and his comments laid out in front of him. He did not come to discuss any problems we might be having, he was only interested in delivering his little speech. After he left we felt very deflated and not at all 'spiritually fed'.

Anyway, good to have you here with us KS, it is a very refreshing place to be and you will find lots of support here.

Suitable Companions?

by individuals wife in

just a bit confused over the situation with my kids........ to explain briefly...... i da'd last november, my husband no longer attends.

i am shunned completely, my husband is not completely, many still talk to him.. my previous jw friends allow their children to play with ours, we all live in close proximity to each other.

their children still talk to me, i still talk to them (when unobserved!).

individuals wife

Just a bit confused over the situation with my kids.......

To explain briefly.....

I da'd last November, my husband no longer attends. I am shunned completely, my husband is not completely, many still talk to him.
My previous JW friends allow their children to play with ours, we all live in close proximity to each other. Their children still talk to me, I still talk to them (when unobserved!). My previous JW friends have invited my children into their homes yet their children have been forbidden from entering our home. One JW lad has said to my daughter that if the elders ask about their friendship - he will deny it and say that he does not speak to any of us.

Seems all very mixed up to me........
What sort of messages is this sending out to the poor kids?
And should I be wary about what the JWs may say to my kids when they are in their company?

What do you reckon - would it be a shame to break up the childrens friendships just because of the differences of the parents or would it serve as a protection for them?

7

What the ......Hell?

by JennyNuk in

jw
friends

hello, this is technically my first post, i have been a fly on the wall for some time now.

i would like to explain my delima but first i have to fill in some gaps.

sorry to bore you with details but a brief history seems needed.

individuals wife

A big welcome to you Jenny, good to have you here!

I was very moved by your account, the pain of losing someone you love is one of the hardest things to bear, especially when they are so young. I remember when my father died at the age of 41 a relative told me that God always takes the good ones early and He must have a special purpose in Heaven for the one that died, not much consolation.

As for the 'ghostly' presences, I am afraid that I am not a believer in such things. I was often told that my late father was watching me and looking over me and his grandchildren... what a cruel thing to subject him to if this were true. To watch his family go through the pain and grief of their loss - who would wish that upon anyone?
I will a sceptic in these matters until I have firm proof to the contrary.

I hope that sharing your experiences and thoughts with us here will help you. Take care.